A Musical Episode
by EmperorBlitz1918
Summary: All songs are from the British T.V series Horrible Histories. Don't own the songs at all. Reason: Just for a little fun, but will right more of my own series soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Savage Songs **

***Don't own the Rovers or the songs only Levi and Myself. **

Scene 1

Hunter: (Annoyed.) "Why do we have to do this anyway?"

He said as we pan out to see him dressed in a white Roman toga with a golden laurel crown on his head. He is looking at me.

EmperorBlitz1918: (Annoyed.) "Ok one more time, because I wanted to have fun and so I wrote this. Plus we can educate reads now and then since The History Channel thinks Swamp People is for some reason?"

Blitz dressed in Roman armor.

Blitz: (Happily.) "Yeah and I don't mind to show off my sing talents. Plus I do like the costume on Levi."

Levi was dress in a purple toga and a crown of laurels.

Levi: (Seductively.) "Thank my little Roman soldier and I do love to sing. In fact I got to play Lazar Wolfe back in my schools version of Fiddler on the Roof."

Exile then walks in dressed like Blitz walks in.

Exile: (Happily.) "Let's get this showski on the street."

EmperorBlitz1918: (Shouting.) "Ok people let's get started, actors get in your spots, cameras get ready, and ACTION!"

The four Rover face away from the cameras and at a roman style building.

Hunter: (Sing talking.) "The famous Roman Empire."

Blitz: (Sing talking.) "Was the biggest meanest neighborhood."

Exile: (Sing talking.) "We four were the baddest Emperors."

Levi: (Sing talking.) "And by bad we don't mean good."

The four at once: "Woo who!"

The all spin around and Hunter walks forward. The others dance in the background

Hunter: (Tenor singing voice.)

"My name is Caligula.

A rotten, Roman pig-ula,

If you told me a fib-ula I' hack your hands to stumps!

One time I killed a priest who'd come to sacrifice a beast.

You think it's sad that he is deceased?

We all laughed like chumps!

I'm very hairy, but take note, if you so much as whisper 'Goat'; with an iron rod you will be smote.

In a good mood today so I won't slit your throat." *Cutting throat motion.*

Hunter: "I'm bad!"

Others: "He's bad!"

Hunter:

"Do you still have limbs since meeting me?

Then I guess you should be glad!

Woo Who!"

Hunter rejoins the line as Blitz heads up.

Blitz: (Lower tenor.)

"Your nastiness was fabulous, but name's Elagabalus.

And I was far, far, worse just listen to my verse.

I was quite notorious for catapulting venomous snakes at Rome's enormous crowds, oh how they fled."

*Laughs once.*

Blitz:

"If you won a lottery prize I'd give you fleas, dead dogs, and flies.

My house guest got a nice surprise, a LION in their bed!

You'd think to children I'd be cuter?

No, I was there biggest executor, used their guts to read the future."

*Looks down at a piece of paper.*

Blitz: (Acting surprised.)

"It says here I should get a job as a school TUTOR!

I'm bad!"

Others: (Still dancing.) "He's bad!"

Blitz: "Hated through our empire from Great Britain to Bagdad.

Woo-who!"

Blitz rejoins the line and tags Exile in.

Exile: (Raspy baritone voice.)

"Afraid your calm is bogus, 'Cause my name I Commodus.

And no one else could be a worst Emperor then me."

He spins around as they music picks up speed.

Exile:

"There never was a great pretend gladiator.

If the booing got to loud, I made the lions fight the crowd.

Just one man was grander Julius Alexander, so I kill him see because I'm the Emperor me!

I'm bad!"

Others: "He is bad!"

Exile:

"My actions were truly rad!"

Levi steps up and pushes him out of the way.

Levi: (Bass tone.)

"You only got the Emperor Job 'Cause you chosen by your bad!

To me you all score zero, my name is Emperor Nero.

Evil men there not I'm the worstest of the lot. Woo.

My rule was full of fear-o, yes men from far and near-o called me a fighting hero or I would have them slayed!

Change the Olympic season so the medals went to me-son.

Burned Christians for no reason, just a fun game I played you know.

Poisoned my step brother, ordered men to kill my mother, tried to drown her but she fled.

So I had her stabbed instead, uh!"

A short pause then he looks at the camera.

Levi:

"Wait there's more, with my first wife dear Octavia, I showed truly bad behavior. Chopped her head off, and then gave it to, my girlfriend who I then killed too!

I'm bad, so baddy of badness I'm the daddy!

Come on in want to see a more evil bloke then me, woo!"

The others then gather around him.

Others:

"You're bad, real bad!

Nothing more to add, we all thought that we were awful, but you are really truly mad!

Woo-who!"

Levi: (Sing talking.) "I'm the baddest emperor the Romans ever had!"

The music stops and the number is done.

EmperorBlitz1918: (Happy.) "Great job you guys let's take five and you can change costumes."

The rovers didn't question him and headed to their dressing rooms.

EmperorBlitz1918: (Shouting.) "Next I need to see Colleen, Hunter, and Exile for the Cleopatra song."

**To be continued. **


	2. Chapter 2

***Don't own the Rovers or the Song only Levi and Myself.**

Scene 2

Colleen enters a set that looks like an Egyptian throne room or a temple. She was dressed like the Goddess Isis from ancient Egypt. She sat in the golden throne that was decorated in Egyptian symbols and waited for the others. About five minutes later Exile walked in wearing a white toga with a purple trim on the edges.

Exile: (Surprised by Colleen's beauty.) "Wowski you look so beautiful in that costume."

Colleen: (Childishly.) "Thank you and I can tell you are excited to see me."

Exile looks down at himself and sees that he was 'Excited' in a way. He covers he boner with his toga and pluses a little. The two go over their lines until Hunter, EB1918, and the camera crew came in and set up their cameras. Hunter was wearing a Roman general's armor and helmet. After that was done EmperorBlitz1918 came over to talk with the Rovers.

EmperorBlitz1918: (Claps his hands together and joyfully.) "Ok the first song went great and we can move onto this song. Colleen when you are singing this song sing it in a seductively and childishly almost like you're a Greek siren. Try to throw yourself around the throne like you're an exotic dancer. Is that ok with you?"

Colleen: (Joyful.) "That's ok with me time to show off my inner Goddess."

Myself: "Great, now Hunter and Exile. She will walk over to you Hunter first and you smile like you can't believe you get to sleep with her. After that she will spin over to you Exile, you will catch her in your arms and bow her bow like you're doing a tango. After she says the line 'Oh Mark Antony' you will stand her up and will act like you're tussling with Hunter over her. Before she even gets over here you will just stand in the background. Does that sound good to the both of you?"

Hunter and Exile shake their heads 'Yes'.

Myself: (Claps hands and walking off set.) "Great let's get started, places every one, and Action!"

The music starts to play it almost sounds like a Lady Gaga song and beat.

Chorus: "Ra, Ra, Cleopatra!"

Colleen: (Seductively.) "Famous beauty coming at ya!"

Chorus: "Ra, Ra, partra Cleo!"

Colleen: (seductively and Childish.)

"Guys all go gaga for me-o!

I am a leader

And a lady and a queen

I'm Cleopatra

Such a queen, never been seen

I am a pharaoh

Yet they're-o meant to be guys

But I don't care-o

I just wear-o beard disguise

my mum and dad were pharaohs

I thought my rule's due

But both my older sisters

Thought that they should rule too

Oh dear, they both died!

I wonder who that would leave 

little me-o, Pharaoh Cleo? 

Okay, no time to grieve!

Think that's alarming, you'd be right 

But it gets worse 

Married my half-brother 

And we ruled the universe

That bad romance 

Led to an overcrowded throne 

But then he died, boo-hoo 

So now I rule alone

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!"

Chorus: "All hail Lady Cleo!"

Colleen: (Childishly.) "Wah, wah, wah, la, la!"

Chorus: "Coolest Pharaoh by far!"

Colleen: (seductively.)

"Fashion topped my list of vices

Bathed in asses' milk and spices

Then I dressed like goddess Isis

Long, black hair in ringlets nicest

Viper's tooth for men entices

Finest linen robe, top prices!"

She gets out of the throne and walks over to Hunter and cuddles with him.

Colleen: (Childishly.)

"Married another brother

He's an okay geezer

But never told

Of my love for Julius Caesar

Had Caesar's child and hoped

That he'd be crowned king

My bro said no, I said 'Oh! '

And I murdered him

'Cause I am Cleopatra

Egypt's royalty

The ruling pharoah, don't you dare-o

Mess with me!"

She kisses Hunter on the cheek and then walks over to Exile.

Colleen:

"My poker face smiles, 

Only when I see, 

a man who takes my fancy like."

Exile grabs her spins her around and dips her to the floor.

Colleen: (Seductively shocked.)

"Oh, Mark Anthony!

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah."

She gets up and the two boys pretend to fight and hunter give Exile a noogie.

Both together: (Happily.)

"Another Roman leader!"

Colleen:

"Wah, wah, wah, la, la.

No Egyptian crowd pleaser."

Chorus:

"Ra, ra, Cleopatra! "

Colleen:

"Finally I met my match-o!"

Hunter and Exile:

"Ra, Ra, patra Cleo!"

Colleen:

"Ends in death for him and me-o.

My life was a drama I was one kooky momma.

Wah, wah, you know today I'd be a favorite of the,

paparazzo!"

The song ends and everything went swimmingly.

Myself: "Great job you guys everything went well. You three can rest now, I need to talk to Levi and Blitz about their song about King George the IV."

Exile: (Panting.) "Greatski now I can relax for a little bit!"

The two others agreed and went to change into their next costumes.

**To be continued.**


	3. Chapter 3

***Don't own the Rovers or songs just Levi and Myself. **

After the Cleopatra song was done it was Levi and Blitz turn to sing. Their song was about King George the IV and his dad King George the III. The set they had was style after the royal palace of Buckingham's rooms. Levi was dressed like George the IV and Blitz was George the III. When EmperorBlitz1918 came he told Levi to act disgusted with his dad and takes the crown off his after him first line.

Myself: (Tired but joyful.) "Ok everyone after this song is 'The Borgia Family' song and we are done. So lights, camera, and action!"

The music starts to play with Levi standing behind Blitz who was sitting in a golden Georgian style chair.

Levi: (Tenor voice.)

"I'm George the IV the 'Regent King' which means I was just standing because my dad George the III had gone barking."

Blitz: "Banana!"

Levi then takes the crown from him and places it on his head.

Levi:

"Great palaces I did design, Buckingham was one of mine.

Art and Fashion I so rated."

Blitz: (Looking up at Levi.)

"And wives!?"

Levi: (Embarrassed tone.)

"That's more complicated!

Actresses and Duchesses the great loves of my life!

I loved more girls then I ate pies but I couldn't stand my wife."

Blitz: "He couldn't stand his wife."

Levi:

"Go away!

I only married Queen Caroline when my debts began to climb.

Because I agreed to tie the knot,"

Blitz: (Sing talking.) "I said I would pay of the lot!"

Levi:

"But the wedding caused all sorts of strives, because I already had a wife!"

Blitz: (Acting shocked.) "A divorced Catholic!?"

Levi:

"Dad did sigh, but the mad old goat just won't die!"

Blitz: "Still hear," *Grabs his chest pretending to have a heart attack.*" oh spoke to soon!"

He falls to the floor pretending to be dead.

Levi: (Excited.)

"At last - I can go solo!

As true king my reign began!

…Though I was now older than your Nan. And as the ruler of our nation, I banned my wife from my coronation.

And knowing now that I did hate her, she promptly died just three weeks later.

But all those pies that I got through Meant ten years later I died too!"

He then falls to the floor dead, but is pulled up by Blitz.

Blitz: (Acting crazy.)

"Hello - have we met?

I'm a kangaroo!"

He hops off the set. And Levi begins to sing and spin.

Levi: (Joyous.)

"Actresses, Duchesses - The great loves of my life. I loved more girls than I ate pies, But I couldn't stand my wife!

I had just ten years on the throne Do you remember that?

No – all that you remember is… I was really fat…"

He bows his head and walks off the set.

Myself: "Great job you two that was perfect go relax for five minutes then we can finish the day with the last song."

Levi: (Happily.) "Great I can relax then sing then go home with my little German man."

Blitz pluses a little and grabs his partners hand and the two head for their dressing room.

**To be continued.**


	4. Chapter 4

***Don't own the Rovers or song just Levi and Myself. **

Scene 4

The final song was the about the Borgia family and the rovers were all dressed like the family. Exile was going to play the father and the others his kids. The set was made to look like Sistine chapel. When they were all in the costumes they waited for my instructions.

EmperorBlitz1918: (Tired.) "Ok this is the last song and then you all can go home. All of you need to sing in fake Italian accents and you snap you fingers when I point at you. Do you all got that?"

Rovers: "Got it!"

Myself: (Walking off set.) "Great and action!"

The music starts to play, it sounds like the theme song from 'The Adam's Family.'

Point

*snap, snap.*

Point

*snap, snap.*

Point

*snap, snap*

All together: (Fake Italian accents.)

"Lucrezia, Giovanni,  
Gioffre and Cesare  
Italian barmy army,  
The Borgia Family

Our daddy was Rodrigo."

Exile: (Snobbish sounding bass tone.)

"I had a Monstrous ego!"

Others:

"When he makes trouble we go, the Borgia Family."

Exile:

"Our tale begins Renaissance Spain,  
its leaders were a shower  
so I run out of patience  
so began in my quest for power

I splashed my cash to all the papal cardinals in hope  
that they'd be bought,  
they were in short  
And I became the Pope

More power than I oughta."

Others: "Blood thinker then water!"

Exile: "Appoint my Sons and Daughter."

Others: "To run a dynasty."

Hunter:

"With daddy as the Pope I could do as I pleased was ace,  
I'd kill a man who dared  
like invade my personal space."

Exile:

"I found a husband for Lucrezia  
Rich Giovanni Sforza, do you love him?"

Colleen is holding a rose in her hand she sniffs it.

Colleen: "Yes of course, but love is power and money so."

She then cuts the rose in half.

All together:

"Now married to the Sforza's  
this opens up new doorsas.  
They world bows down before us  
the Borgia/Sforza family."

Exile:

"Yes, and while we're at it we will marry son Gioffre  
Aged twelve but so what soon will be  
The Borgia/Sforza and the Naples family."

Pretends to be out of breath.

Exile:

"When the Sforza family

Eventually bores ya.

With just annul the marriage

if he refuses to divorce ya."

Colleen: (Mad.) "Don't I get a say!"

Exile: (Reassuring.)

"Don't fret, for you another man I'll get  
Alfonzo of Aragon!"

Colleen: (Joyful.) "I like him this could go on and on!"

Hunter: (Cockily.)

"You like him I've gone off him  
is pretty face makes me wince."

Colleen: (Shocked.) "You killed him!"

Hunter: (Evilly.)

"Yeah I'm the model for Machiavelli's Prince!"

Exile: (Pointing at Blitz.)

"Giovanni run the army but Cesare said  
No way! I'll kill you if you cross me  
I might kill you anyway."

Hunter: (Evilly.)

"I am the mostest powerfulest, evilest of all  
As long as dads alive  
there's not a single chance I'll fall!"

Exile: (Pretends to have a heart attack.) "Huh aaaaaahhhhhh!"

Hunter: "Awww no!"

All together: (Worried.)

"We suddenly lost status  
it seems the whole world hate us  
they excommunicate us  
The Borgia Family

R.I.P."

The song ends and ever on is happy.

**The End. **

**If you liked this please review. Bye!**


End file.
